Another Else: Volume I
Reminding and Restating Revised

Being Different Means You Need To Be Strong

If you didn’t stumble across my blog via a track back from Violent Acres, which I’m sure most of my readers do, then let me tell you that I enjoy reading her blog. I have taken notice to the latest drama over it too.
Now, while I won’t really take a side on the issue besides saying that…

  • bloggers write about what bloggers want to, and if you don’t like the topic skip over it. For all of you saying there are too many stories of high school, you must fail to realize how important that time is to your character. 95% of the time you can see a hint of someone’s future character during their later high school years. Sure, we mature more in college, but we hardly do a turnabout.
  • bloggers can only write about their own experiences and the experiences of those close to them, so of course we draw attention to ourselves. I personally love it when I see a big spike in my traffic.

Now, I don’t say anymore because VA is the last person on the Internet that needs someone else to defend her. This leads to my point. You control how you are.
I grew up in the “out crowd.” I’m still in the “out crowd,” but I didn’t allow myself to be the target of others. When you do that, you are just as responsible for your social outcasting as are the people who are pointing and laughing. Actually, you are even more responsible.
I’ll give you a description of myself in elementary school. Yes, it is actually important.
I was dressed in the preppy clothing all of us are at that age. I had huge glasses and was too nice to make fun of anybody. My best friend at the time was the butt of everyone’s jokes. We both shared the “I’m better and smarter than you” attitude that everybody hates but he was overweight and would cry if you made fun of it, or get super angry. Either way, the bullies won. They’d try to make fun of me too, but I always had the ability to laugh at a funny joke, even if I was the butt. This is a very important trait! Don’t even try to social nowadays if you can’t laugh at yourself.
I wasn’t liked but I was severely disliked either.
Then came middle school. Yeah, it’s called middle school around here, not junior high.
I had every peg knocked out of me. My clothing was ridiculed. I wasn’t nearly the smartest and I had zero friends. I should note that I went to different middle school then 98% of my elementary school due to districting. I luckily lost my “I’m better and smarter than you” attitude. I had to relearn to laugh at myself as I was a favorite to pick on.
There were people I talked to though, and probably the most influential was somebody who sat down next to me and told me how it was.
“Look, you dress like you want us to make fun of you. You might as well have picked out your clothes from a dumpster.”
My pants were too short and my shirts were too grade school. My glasses were to big and I my shoes were Payless on clearance.
He was right. I might as well have had a sign on my back with a target.
I actually sat down and talked to my parents about it.
In the times afterwards, my parents responded. I got new shoes and ever since I go to Foot Locker instead of Payless. I reworked how I bought new clothes. Know what? I liked the baggy style better. It’s definitely more comfortable.
I reworked my attitude too. I got more confidant and stood up for myself more often.
I wasn’t liked, but I was left alone.
It was great. In high school I started to work out how to be social and now I have a good set of friends. We are still the outcasts but we laugh at each other and others and with others. I changed my perspective and it worked for me.

Now, I’m not telling you need to dress better or get smaller glasses. You need to look at your perspective. You need to be able to roll with the verbal punches and hit back with the physical ones. Schools say not to hit back, but honestly just hit back.
If you panzy out, it will get worse.
I lost the one and only fight I actually got into before it was broken up but I was picked on less after it.

If you choose to be different then don’t doubt yourself. The Goth crowd is constantly made fun of but they at least have a backbone. They stick together and accept themselves and others. We geeks tend to take hits and walk with tears.

Point: If you can’t stand the consequences of it, don’t be different or don’t complain about it.

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